This “Mental Health Series” is going to highlight how I have worked to improve my mental health (especially as it pertains to struggles with my physical health). Strength and conditioning coaches love to talk about “work/life balance” and “taking care of our mental health”. But I’ve never actually heard anyone share information on how to improve these aspects of health other than “get a therapist” or “go and train”. Again, this is the purpose of this “Mental Health Series” – to show others ways how I have addressed my mental health (with strategies other than just physically exhausting myself). I am NOT a therapist and am not qualified to actually help you – I am simply using this space to share some strategies that have helped me (none of which may help you or all of which may help you). In this Series, the four strategies I will touch on are: Physical Exercise, Having Creative Outlets, Breathing Techniques and Meditation, and Talking with Others.

Part 1 of this series addressed Physical Exercise (HERE), Part 2 addressed Having Creative Outlets (HERE), and Part 3 addressed Breathing Techniques and Meditation (HERE) If you have not read any of those they are a good place to start. Part 4 will now focus on: Talking with Others.

This was incredibly difficult for me to embrace. I have always been someone who compartmentalizes thoughts/feelings/emotions. Even my own wife would feel uneasy around me because I refused to let anyone in. It’s a dangerous game to play because at some point, something is going to happen that will bring everything to the surface. For me, this happened in December of 2022.

If you’ve read any of my articles or know me personally you probably are aware that I had an unexplained medical event in November (originally called a “Minor Stroke” but now more than likely explained as “Complex Migraine with Aura”). I spent a lot of time between early November and mid-December ruminating on “what ifs” and not knowing what would happen to me. I wasn’t supposed to do any training because of the uncertainty around my physical health, which made things even worse for me. But I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I kept everything inside. Suddenly, I became severely depressed in mid-December. I was laying in bed with Kerrin, started crying, and told her EVERYTHING about how I was feeling and how I thought I needed real help. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It made me feel (at least temporarily) much better. Although there are times where I still struggle to open up to people (and question whether I even should), I have gotten much better at communicating how I am feeling and what I need to those around me. My relationship with Kerrin is better than it has ever been (a silver lining of this crazy journey I have been on), and overall it feels healthier to “let it out” in a productive way over “keeping it locked away”. I have three major touch points for communication in my life: my therapists, my boss, and my wife.

Therapists

This is the most straightforward one: if you need someone to discuss your mental health with (or really just someone to help prioritize things in your life) getting a therapist is a great place to start. My psychologist deals with the mental health side (as well as discussing life, work, etc.) and my psychiatrist deals with medication management and navigating that process. I am incredibly lucky that I have two therapists who make me feel heard. It was important to me to find a person (or people) who I connected well with (after all I’d be discussing some really heavy topics with them).

My Boss

My boss (Kiyoshi) and I are really close (both as co-workers and as people). We get along extremely well, work well together, and are supportive of each other. He has been detrimental in helping me navigate my work situation throughout this process and has been very understanding of everything I am going through. I know that this isn’t always realistic for everyone, but finding someone in your work setting who you can discuss your struggles with (primarily pertaining to work) can help make situations easier (and you may find out that you aren’t the only one dealing with certain issues in the workplace).

My Wife

It has truthfully been amazing to connect with Kerrin on a deeper level through all of this. She is the only one who knows the depths of my struggles. She has seen me at my darkest moments and has been there helping me climb out every step of the way. We have always had a positive relationship, but the communication part was admittedly not always great (again because I refused to let anyone in to see the whole me). Having someone who you can truly be yourself around is incredibly rewarding. Again, I know this is not always realistic for everyone, but finding someone who can help you with the day-to-day struggles (especially between therapy visits) will be beneficial.

A Word of Caution and Conclusion

Because I had not opened up to anyone like this, I found myself questioning a lot of things along the way. I was telling people things that I was not used to saying about myself. And for a while it really didn’t feel good. It was incredibly uncomfortable and I kept thinking I was “fine” when I used to just keep everything to myself. However, I have since come to the realization that I am processing and communicating in a much healthier way for the long-run. It may suck a bit in the short-term, but finding those who you can talk to about your problems in the different domains of your life will be worthwhile in the long-term.

Although I have certainly had my fair share of rough moments throughout my mental and physical health struggles (and certainly there will be more), I am grateful for the new things I have learned (and will continue to learn). This process has taught me that it is okay to open up to others and to discuss emotions and feelings that I am having (both positive and negative). I believe that finding people who make me feel heard and want to help me has played a major role in this process for me.

I try to end these articles with some brief bullet points. That way, even if you are to take nothing else away from this article, you can at least have a few highlights. Below are my key takeaways for you from this article:

-Different people can be touch points for you based on what domains of your life you interact with them in

-Find people you feel comfortable sharing with (people who will discuss issues with you in a non-judgmental way)

-If nothing else, finding a quality therapist (or two) can be a good place to start with opening up and building a new tool belt of useful skills